something sense, something sensibility
by Ghoster.Z
Summary: I'm writing what could be the greatest essay of the century, and gilbert is listening to the circle of life in his underwear


**I blame the stress of school**

* * *

><p>My name is Elizabeta Héderváry and I am ninteen years old. You want us to write a mock-autobiographical work while impersonating an author who has touched and changed our life. Well, professor, this is what I have for you.<p>

If there was one author in this world who has had any impact on me -

"Hey Lizzie, guess what!"

- I would have to say Jane Austin. Her works are literary legend. They touch a cord in me no other book ever has.

"I'll touch your cord _all _night long."

Where do I start? Pride and Prejudice of course is a masterpiece of word, mixed together by the vivid imagination of an nineteenth century woman who, beneath her resilient feminism, was really a romantic at heart.

"We talked about reproduction in biology."

Aside from the fact that we both share the same name, I feel a strong connection towards Elizabeth Bennet -

"_Sex_."

- Perhaps the reason we both tend to judge others on a first impression is a form of defense, to guard ourselves from the reality of the situation. If we were to simply indulge ourselves in frivolous activities, such as parties and courtships, then we'd be left with the aftermath of poor decision making which will ultimately lead to heartbreak and scandal.

"Did you know when a woman releases pheromones into the air, she's ready to mate?"

Her relationship with the people around her greatly reflect certain aspects of not only her personality, but issues we have today in the world. For example, with , we see a woman who strives for equality – not chivalry. I for one, prefer a man who would allow me to defend myself rather then hide me behind the lines of war. If Elizabeth had fallen so easily for Mr. Darcy, then literature today would be greatly affected!

"When she's ovulating, she's practically screaming _do me, bang me hard, I want it rough. Unf!_"

Women would never have striven for equality, feminism would cease to exist! Which will lead me to my next topic, romanticism and realism. What made the connection and love between Elizabeth and was that it reflected society. Not our society of course, but what culture was back then. Perhaps not all women were as stubborn or brash, but they used their intelligence and mind to conquer a man – not their bodies.

"Now let me tell you about a woman's body, which of course I am the expert of! Let's start with yours."

In sense and sensibility -

"When a woman's breast leak milk, it means she is ready to have a child."

- we see a stark conTRAST – God dammit, Gilbert! – between the two sisters Elinor and Marianne, two different personalities or one mind divided by two different ambitions? One could say _Why are you stroking me?_

"Her thighs are thick for a reason, not that I'm saying your fat or anything, but you need the extra meat to push our kid out someday. And considering how big our family's gonna be, you're gonna need them for a while!"

While Elinor and is the epitome of prudence and self-control, her sister Marianne is the polar opposite. She values emotion and enthusiasm. When faced with similar situations, the reader is left to decide wether sense or sensibility have countered each other, or worked as one.

"You know how else we can be as one?" His voice is strangely deep this time and a tad huskier than it was before.

Because Elinor has such a strong heart, many are left to think she is cold-hearted and indifferent. Unlike her sister, she is the more thoughtful of the two.

"When a male is ready to spread his seat, he marks the female with his scent."

Marianne leads more with her emotions, than mind . . . stop that.

"Why, am I making you hot and bothered? Please, don't let me prevent you from writing your paper."

She falls in love with Willoughby and . . . _mmmm_

"Spread your legs wider. And so, in order to procreate life, he inserts . . . ah, he inserts himself into her, thus ensuring the continuation of life. All we need now is a little time, a little magic, and BAM! It's a boy!"

Something about sense and . . . something else about overly emotional females . . . and . . . biology, oh. oh. _OH_.

"Yeah, that's how daddy likes it. Oh yeah, who's the man!"

I swear to god, if I get pregnant before I graduate college I am cutting your dick off.

"And thus concludes the circle of life."


End file.
